The way back

The smile in their lips, the light in their otherwise tired eyes, the unkempt hair, the black dress with the multiple strands of the thulasi mala ... A look of satisfaction ... This could mean only one thing - the devotees just had a darshan of the lord almighty AYAPPA of Sabarimala.

The visit to Sabarimala  which requires one to brave the 5-6 KM walk on bare foot over a mountain and then down a valley is one of the most heavily visited places next only to the Haj. The trekking is a killer; the first 3 KM is the real courage tester with real steep slope. And being bare foot you are bound to stamp on some sharp pebbles and thorns. The pain of the journey  is generally accompanied by the frustration of having to wait in the long serpentine queue. All this complaints, then what makes the number of pilgrims who visit every year go high by lakhs and lakhs. Maybe I will try explaining my feeling on that question.

This is my third visit to Sabarimala. And the first on a non season month. Season being from November to January mid. The bad walk has been improved over the years with concrete, steps and it's not so dangerous & raw like it used to be. But then it is still a real trekking specially because you are sans your shoes. When we wound ourself and sweat to the bone the feeling is "this is my last visit, no more not me" (Mt first time feeling at least!!!). But after the long walk, the rush and the wait when you get the visual Of AYAPPA Swamy; it makes one forget all the hardship (walking back the steep mountain being one of the yet unfinished hardships). The vision that lasts just few seconds may include god getting bathed in ghee or powdered with bhasmam or plain golden. This vision which stays with each and everyone until their next visit; is the talk of the ayappans (as the pilgrims are called) walking back. Someone once told me that the whole journey and 'the way back' is representation of life. Lets see I put this right - In the way to your goals you would walk difficult terrain, pain yourself and at times feel like giving up. But those who continue on the path with their hardwork get rewarded with the achievement in the goal and the satisfaction of achieving the same. Yeah that's it I guess.

Guys if you Haven't been to Sabarimala... You are missing something. I don't ask which religion are you from nor I ask you for a change. But visit Sabarimala for the experience and the feeling of being a winner in an otherwise compromised life that we live. also gals if you are in between 10 and 50 years you need to wait.

A look at the rain from the stairs ....

Getting ready to go and see someOne special to comfort her; but it turned out a bit awkward since have to wait now for the rain that started abruptly, to stop. Don't wanna go back to the office Coz has been a "low bug fix day". No I don't like getting drenched either specially after the feverish experience of last week. This blog happens...

Rain is a brilliant thing to watch; onion pakodas would add to the whole experience even more. All the while we should be already at home and not waiting for the twin to stop. The rains are right now actually very good things Coz the summer is bearable thanks to the long rainy season. The traffic blocks can be pesteringand the invisible potholes an be really dangerous. The Bbmp have been tech for the rain they say - yeah right, next year maybe they are leaning up the 65258 now and places where it's completely missing they are just framing the metal cage that will hole the said drainage. So next year maybe.

This us what I have to say:

Rain rain go away
I have to go a long way
She is angry with her life
Coz There r issues before she can be my wife
I love looking at you rain
But there is someone in pain
I am asking this, am I being unfair
Don't say that, I don't dare
I am no winner
But I sure wanna make up for dinner
Someday I will have a car
Until then I have to request u to end the impeding war!!!

Rain rain go away
I have to go a long way!!!!

Why are you so serious?

Two news in two days made me question this:

1) A girl's mother reads the personal diary and in that her feelings for a classmate and makes a mayhem and the girl can t take this; she suicides. Ok this happens only that in this case the girl is just 11 Years old - class VI student. 

(Ref:http://www.daijiworld.com/news/news_disp.asp?n_id=97151 ) 

2) Brigade Road: The happening place in Bangalore (well now that title is shared with the multiple malls around Bangalore!!! ) two young guys stabbed a person because he was honking his car horn when this guys didn't move from the road. 

(Ref: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bangalore/Call-the-bloody-cops-Ill-talk-to-them/articleshow/7722764.cms) 

                                                                                     

In both this instances the situation went out of proportion which could have been just shooed-off as a non issue. All it required was a bit of sharing and patience, respectively. The class VI, 11 year old (i still consider this a very kiddish age be whatever that the world is changed) was STRESSED because her PRIVATE DIARY that contains her thoughts about her RELATIONSHIP with her classmate was read by her mother. And the young punks they were ANGRY, so angry that they didn't care that taking a pen knife and stabbing the person may actually kill him and send them behind the bars for a long time. 

Just the other day I was discussing with my friends the changing times and how the kids don't sound or talk like kids anymore. I was talking to a Class IV girl in my neighborhood and I was feeling as if I was talking with someone my age; and loosing to keep up with her fast-paced conversation . And my distant relatives daughter who was telling me a detailed explanation of  why she doesn't remember me because she has grown very old (6 Years) since the last times that I met her (2 years back has been ages back). So case studies apart; the kids are growing old faster than they need to. I remember how I was or couldn't ever be part of mature talks when my parents were talking thus never learning to talk like BIG guys (at the age of 10). And that how my parents were always there to talk to me listening to all my silly queries and innocent discoveries (pressing the of the fingers some thing happens that causes the finger to go Red) . I am not sure if that was the reason or something else but we (my generation of kids) didnt have suicidal tendencies. Yeah we did speak that "Baap re upar se girne se marr jaana tha" (when going to fall from a tall tree) but then thats it, nothing stressed out about it. 

A fren of mine once tweeted   that she was chatting with her mom in GTalk while they were both in the same house; and how she felt that the technology was invading into the beauty part of chatting-in-person. She was as American and 26 Years old. So I just laughed it off because they do not  have any such bondings at home like we Indians do. But maybe that culture (or a small part of it) is coming down East? But is the hasty lifestyle because of the ever demanding work culture OR for-a-better-future of our loved ones attitude eating into  the present with consequential results? I think yes... Its time the weekends becomes more about being with the family and imparting the virtues of family and being together (and not just Facebook Buddies, Liking the Statuses !!!) ; and I guess being vocal about things that may be running in the lil' ones mind. Parents in turn should in turn be aware and conscious of how much and what to talk before kids. And last but not the least don't send your kid to a rat race... 

Ok parents out there, i am not married yet and haven't been-there and done-that. But well this is my plan. A good one to start with I guess. 

Love you Hamesha...

It’s been sometime I see; since I blogged. Not that my life was sans any happenings...  A lot happened over the time since my last proper blog. Fights, 2nd USA visit, mom's operation, my ALMOST-wedding (yeah almost that is what it was!!!), some agreement from my parents (my Mom only precisely speaking!!) in the Typhoon hit sea of disapproval from my parents on my wish to marry Devika. And hey how can I forget the 13 failed interviews when trying to jump?? And, that regular jogging since two months, that is showing no results!!! But this is not about the latest things in my life but a little flashback - retrospection...

Apart from those visible changes a lot has changed in me. A lot of me have changed. I have (I don’t know) matured into a more boring and less active person. All through this process I had one person who had to bear the brunt of this changed personality. Devika or my mashe (as now we have ended up calling each other!!! its funny isn't it calling each other MASHE). The last few years 2-2.6 years of my life that i have known have been; how should I say, ROCKING (literally!!).

Yes since the first day of seeing her in the meeting room (supposed to be for Developers only) I saw her first (rather second coz I had already noticed her in the corridor when I was coming to office that day). Heaven didn’t open its door nor did birds start chirping, Nah!! not even saxophone played. Hell! no current go off in the current-cut season. Ok, I just noticed her of the many people in the room. But yeah over the time I got to know her more, I realized that I had a good memory of this first day and in turn her. I was nobody like the guy she wanted - no thick mushy, no artistic inclination, NOT GOOD MALAYALAM, rather not a mallu at all as she puts it at times. She used to hate my Koracha Korach Malayalam speaking skills (now that is something which she loves so much that she has asked me NOT EVER learn Malayalam). Opposites attract or we were meant to be together - call it anything, we hit well. Yes we hit quite soon, quite well I have to say. We soon started mailing each other and over few months’ time phone (thanks to a stranger named Aref, who would never know what importance he played in my (our) life). So to make it short,  Pehle yaar and then pyaar. Ye to hona hi tha.

And, ahem!! I proposed to her..... Yes I did!! I proposed on a late night 24th Feb. Which was responded to me back something like this - "I wish I could give you back what you gave me!!". Believe me I thought that was the ever diplomatic statement from girls that has an inclination towards meaning like this - I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT YOU LIKE THIS EVER!!! The next day saw her getting me an expensive chocolate for me (expensive by that time standards, it was Mars.. or was it Snickers? Ok Let’s settle for Snickers). She did reciprocate my love/feeling over another late nightly conversation; of a day that had begun with laughter and fun end with fight and tears and this disclosure - on 28th Feb. Since then the days ahead have been a mixed bag of goodies. A lot of water has flown under the bridge after that. I have asked my parents a million times (ok I am lying, a hundred times!!!) with no positive sign and she in turn denying any proposals that came by her way. And over the time I changed from this cute, sweet, guy next door into this rough, fowl-mouthed-rogue. And in turn she changed from a loud-mouthed always scolding person into a meek terrified lamb (sometimes she was an angry cat!!! but then that’s a different story).

I have to say, I have come to know a lot about myself during this interval of time. And, a lot about her also. She is this sweet, VERRRY loving and very sensitive girl.  She shows her feelings as is. And I think I am truly lucky persons to actually be in the receiving side of all this goodies. Did I mention that I also happen to be in the receiving side of a lot of other things I didn't want to? Well then let me not bring that up when I am speaking all good things here ;-)... But on a serious note, being a relationship requires that we go above the Creamy layer. I mean know each other above the goodness that sparkles when we are starting a relationship - the good the bad and the ugly of it. That, if we can live through will help us live a healthier and happier life ahead. Well that’s theory OK with some sparkle or truth in it. There are many commons between us too if I missed mentioning it earlier - FOOD and MOVIES and BOOKS being on top of it. She likes singing, and even more when she is praised ;-). So I am not exactly in the top of the list when she has to sing to someone. Psst... I secretly am so happy that she is such a nice singer. What an A$$#*%!@ when it comes to saying it on the face - Yeah me, myself I am talking about. Also she is this self-acclaimed (and precisely so!!!) good cook. No great cook. Her fish curry and avial are to die for!!! SSssss sssshhh..  do I smell someone burning out of jealousy... LOL.... well no I guess.. Where do I have such a big visitor base?

Devils Appraisal........ (A Short Story)

ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY ARE FICTIOUS. ANY RESEMBLENCE TO ANY PERESON DEAD OR LIVING IS PURELY A COINCIDENCE ;)
Like all stories, we have a protagonist. And this protagonist is a modern day girl, who wants to live her life by her own rules. Her rules meaning - she doesnt like rules. So at home you may see her with her legs on the table (which in india is considered is Indisciplined for girls); at office, you may see her going for tea/coffee when she wishes to even if the senior's are eying her every movements. On weekends you will find her tattooing her arms at Forum mall. She is Devi Kriz (Well that 'Z' is something she replaced with the 'shan'!!). She works with a software company since two years. so you can see the college student like enthusiasm still in her.



So one evening she went to the railway station. She was quite surprised to see that the whole railway platform was deserted at this prime time. See walked towards the tracks and started looking around. Thats when she noticed that a gal was lying on the track with her face down. Devi looked around, but finding no one she ran towards the person. The person was not breathing. Devi noticed that the person had an envelop in hand. She looked took it. APPRAISAL LETTER was written in bold letters over it. Getting anxious she opened and read the contents, and was shattered to see that kind of hike that was given was less than peanuts. Devi though no wonder this gal is tryinf to suicide. She started calling her, but there was no response. Then she noticed a red tag just like her own over the gal's neck. Oh so they both work for the same firm. Now she was more anxious to see who the person was. She took the tak and saw that her name was Devi too. She turned the gal around and was stuned by what she was looking at. It was Devi herself lying motion less on the track. .She screamed Nooooooooooooooo, this cannot be true!!! And she woke up from her afternoon nap with a jitter. Her Colleague said, "Hey Devi, wake Up......Manager is calling you for your Appraisal!!"

My embarresments!! (Old Blog 2008 OCT - Publishing Now)

When i say embarrassments, I didn't mean that somebody has seen me in my birthday suit when i was bathing or anything like that. But we all can have embarrassments even with out being exposed. I have lots of embarrassments in my life that still make me feel bad that they ever happened, while it may seem like nothing to you (If any of you ever read this!!). For example when my classmate/fren had a big fall when i pulled the desk from her back when she was about to sit; causing a lot of embarrassment for her and in turn for me (in what way for her, well i am not disclosing the details!!). It was such a loud sound with which she landed in the ground that till date I feel sorry that I ever did that. I was in class XII back then. Or me spilling coca cola on my aunt's bed when we had gone there and I was supposed to be secretive about the coca cola from aunt and their daughters (who were mourning the sad demise of their father!!). I was in class VII or VIII i guess. And then there ........ OK there are quite a few, but today I am going to write about my recent embarrassments in office.. my new office...
I have made a mallu friend here. Let us call her Krizz. I got to know her coz she was int he same project as mine, have been giving lift to her hostel if we used leave at similar timings or eating breakfast at times. So it happened with this friend of mine.
Like many characteristics I inherited from my parents, there is a habit of scribbling with the pen/pencil when I talk over the phone; just like my mom does. So I had a notepad and a pen with me when I got a call (in office). I was talking and parallel scribbling something over the notepad all the while. Just when I was done with the call, Krizz came and asked "Hey wats going on? You look sad. Were you missing me?" I said "come on, you of all!". She was just about to leave, when she (and me) observed what I had scribble over the notepad, It was her email address, scribbled all over the notepad. Few of them bolded by writing over and over again. So by any kids calculation, a guy writing a gals name (In my case email id!!) becomes a very much a case of "I FALLING FOR HER!!". Oh god man, this is gonna be there for a long time.
Next: She once read my blogs. And god knows how, liked few of them (I guess!!). So she asked me to write about her; a blog about her. I started that evening itself to write. But believe me, that is when i realized that i actually didn't know so much about her to write anything. So i stopped, coz i was facing a BLOGGER's BLOCK :(. I was being asked if wrote the blog or not. And the answer was NO for so long. So one evening while giving her a drop, just like any other day we started speaking about her appraisal. It was very less; it seems, for her. So thats when i thought that i got a matter (rather a short story!!) to write about her appraisal and finish the blog i was stuck with. I wrote in an enthusiastic way that evening. Within an hour the blog was uploaded and was forwarded to her. Next day she went through it and came with a a cold response. That was ok with me. But today, she came up to my cubicle and asked me to check my mail that she sent. I saw and "AW!!", it was the same story that i wrote for her. Yes i agree it was and INSPIRED story about a guy getting appraisal and trying to suicide. And now here i am, sitting and looked upon as a CHEAT, whose every word is a lie.
God, me and my embarrassments. Over the time many bad things look like good all memories, but not these i guess. :(